What Does God Really Say About Divorce?

Recently I have had several conversations regarding common held beliefs regarding what people think God says about the issue of divorce. As I seek to always teach people to make sure to verify whatever is taught, I feel lead to present what the Bible ACTUALLY TEACHES on the issue of divorce.I know this is a long post, but I hope you make it to the end. It is worth it...

1)Does the bible really teach that God lets believers divorce in the case of adultery? Not really, contrary to popular belief in many Christian circles, God's Word does NOT teach this. Let me explain. Let us look at the passage where this confusion resides... (Matt. 19:3-10)

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.”  

So we see first of all that God created us to be joined together and "never" separated, "What God has joined together let no man separate." So where does this "permission" actually come from? Look back at the text with me. It clearly states that "because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way." Did you catch it? The passage clearly teaches that divorce was somethings that Moses permitted, not God. 

2) Let me show you another passage regarding God's clear viewpoint on divorce... Malachi 2:16

“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

 That is pretty clear isn't it. If God HATES something, He doesn't later change His mind and allow it.

3) So what if a believer does get divorced and then wants to get married to someone else down the road, what does God have to say about this? Again God speaks in clear language...

 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." 

Matt. 19:9

"And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her" Mark 10:11

Ouch, is that "fair" you asked? Perhaps, but let us remember one clear thing, God is much wiser than you and I combined. He knows what He is doing. This may just be a chance that we just need to remember that not everything makes sense to us at this moment, but if God says it, we need to just accept it. Remember God is perfect, we are not. That said, I for one will always seek to adjust what I think to what God says in the Bible. 

4) Listen to another passage regarding this issue of adultery if we are worried that marring a divorced person causes us to sin in the issue of adultery. Jesus states ...

"but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matt. 5:28

So now ask yourself this question, "have you ever look on somebody else with lust?" Come on, be honest. I highly doubt if anyone has never done this at least once. You know what, God then says YOU have committed adultery! OUCH! So since almost, if not everyone of us, have committed "adultery" what are we to do. Whether you have "looked" on someone else with lust or married someone who was divorced the first thing is to realize that you have sinned. But, remember that God still loves you! All we need to do is repent of that sin. Repent means we agree with God, seek His forgiveness, and stop doing the sin. All us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. This is because we all live in the sinful flesh. Think a believer does not fight this issue, read what Paul says in Romans 7:15-25. If the man, Paul, who many consider to be the best "Christian" ever, dealt with the struggles of daily sin, why do you think we will not. God knows we have problems. Let's all talk with Him everyday and allow God to bring healing to each one of us.

5) Let me give you one last point on this issue of divorce as taught in scripture. There is one passage that God does say a believer can divorce. 

But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? 1 Cor. 7:10-16

The "only" area that the Bible does teach that a believer can divorce is very specific. Once a person gets "saved" AFTER they are married, AND the other "unbelieving spouse" wants to divorce, "the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases." Notice that the "other" spouse is NOT saved. That is critical to the understanding of this teaching. One is saved, the other is not. So why does God "allow" this divorce and not others. Well, since I am not God, I do not fully know all of His ways, I cannot answer that question. I can only read and then obey what it says. At times I can comprehend, other times I do not comprehend. Obedience to the command is never an option. 

Let us all seek to stay in the Word of God daily and learn from it and not be caught up in what we "heard" someone teach. Always make it a point to verify whatever someone teaches. That is why I gave you the scripture references so that you will look them up yourself. Don't trust me, I am just a man who is prone to make mistakes.